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DEFINITIONS

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Title: Definitions

School:

A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either."

Life Insurance:

A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Nurse:

A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary:

Only place where success comes before work.

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Classic:

Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.